Just Words

I understand the significance of language, but I still overlook it’s subtleties. I’ll labor over word choice and structure (not grammar, at which I simply guess) to convey a meaning, but then, when it really counts, I’ll overlook the same effort in the message of another and screw something up. Sometimes I’m just oblivious, or too caught up in the ego of my own well crafted smarts. Pride, but like the bad kind.

My last post generated some intense dialogue behind the scenes. For whatever reasons, it resonated with people to the point at which some readers felt they needed to respond. I appreciate that, I really do. I don’t want to write in a vacuum. But one response in particular was so heartfelt, and held such communion with what I was saying, that I could only reply by being flippant. I threw it away not out of disrespect, but because the weight of it placed even more weight on my message, and I wanted to downplay it. This taught me two things.

First, I’m shy with sincerity and compliments. I’ve habitually undervalued my input in life for so long that I get embarrassed when someone elevates my efforts. One of the main reasons I started the blog was to develop community of a genuine nature, so I shouldn’t turn my back to it when it occurs.

Second, I need to be more in tune with dialogue with others. I’m learning awareness, and I can feel this in conversations with others during the days. But these conversations aren’t of much significance. Where I lack awareness is during the conversations that matter, the one on one’s where someone else is reaching out. These are the words that are tough to deal with, but if someone takes the time to read what I’ve written, and then respond, I need to be foster that communication rather than run away from it.

Like a guy said, “learning everyday.” Thanks for the lesson George.

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