Today I’ll try to do things differently.
I took yesterday as a pretty bad day. I slept poorly and had troubles getting myself out of bed. My first interactions with others were negative, a staff member complaining to me, “don’t take this personally”, but it was. An old friend posted his post-mortem letter to his own friend who recently died in a climbing accident in the Himalayas, a pain that is familiar and empty. Knowing what he’s feeling hurts as deeply as though it just happened to me, a wound that covers with the thinnest scabs. I chose to not walk in the forest yesterday, and I stayed lost all day.
This morning I saw two mugs on the counter. One, my favorite, is from an artist in Revelstoke and is dark grey and brown and painted with the image of a wolf. The other is plain and china white. I took the white mug and made tea with nettle and dandelion root instead of coffee. I said thank you to nothing in particular. I asked for strength.
Today I will absorb the hurt of others. I will take it into me and feel it as though its my own. I offer myself to the afflicted. I will take your pain, clean it through my heart, and release it back into the world as something good.
Today I’ll go in the woods.