Posts Tagged ‘depression’
A Penny for the Old Guy
I spend a lot of time thinking about impractical stuff. I’m not often losing sleep about what to make for dinner or cleaning my truck, things that would be really useful. For me, thinking is mostly in the clouds, and I’m losing sleep because of it right now. I’ve spent years trying to figure out…
Read MoreThe Old Dog, Again
The old dog panting at my feet. She’s uncomfortable. She always is. We think she can’t really feel her hind legs, and we think she has pain in her spine in the rear, her tail bits. She can’t tell us this of course, we’ve tried to become canine mind readers. She pants, and I reach…
Read MoreConnect the Dots
My normal M.O. isn’t to prattle on about spirituality, but I came across something last night that caught my attention. I’ve been thumbing through a book titled We’re All Doing Time, written in the 90’s I think by a guy trying to help prisoners find spirituality. His emphasis is mostly eastern meditative practice, but he…
Read MoreThe Shakes
Some days I live without framework, without structure, in a world where the laws of physics and matter have no hold. I see buildings melting into people on the street, music intertwined with the frantic and nervous tapping of my heel on the floor. My thinking isn’t there, my mind is weak, my heart washes…
Read MoreSucked In
“Just snap out of it!” I woke up this morning on the verge of a bad day. I spent the night sleepless and woke groggy after hitting snooze a bunch of times. Raising the blinds and looking through frozen crystals in the sky it was obvious we’re in a deep freeze again. Not even the…
Read More20 More Minutes, revisited
I said it wouldn’t be easy, didn’t I? Just 20 minutes a day. It’s so simple, but its been days since I’ve managed to make myself hive off the time. Dropping the practice is both symptom and cause, and it spirals downward until a certain, dark point where I just give up. But it’s dawned…
Read MoreThe Second Edge
I’m grateful that people are talking about the importance of mental health. Bringing awareness to how common mental illness is to the general public gives some power to those who suffer. It brings them out of the shadows, no longer sitting alone on the sidelines watching those better adjusted (an assumed quality of course) carry…
Read MoreAs Punk As
In a lot of ways this has just started, but in others it’s been going on a hell of a long time. There are aspects of my personality that put me at odds with a lot of things. I grew up being kind of a little shit, a mouthy know-it-all (I still know it all…)…
Read MoreIt’s There
If there is one aspect of being me that sucks, it’s the unreliable nature of my strengths. When I am strong, I have incredible fortitude. And when I am able to focus, I’m afforded great insight. But if depression is one thing, it’s fickle. I can have long periods of productivity; weeks running or riding…
Read MoreMisdirection
The past few months have been a challenge for me. I don’t easily go through any of my days, but something in the last while has been creating friction between me and everything else. Something is unsettled more now than in better times, and it’s a sticky one. We see so much these days. The…
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